13 | Me | 9/15/24
Usually my anxiety concerns the world around me. Dentist appointments, school tests, family matters, et cetera. But sometimes I notice anxiety can be revolved specifically around me and what I do. In particular, I notice it all comes back to one part of my life all the way back in 2019. I believe I have detailed this story once before. I was a young teenager, still in middle school. I had a small group of friends who were both in my school and on an online chatting software. Even though I was considered their friends, I felt very out of place in the group. I was weird but in a way that they were not. I obsessed over a fictional character and posted about him constantly, to the annoyance of the group. I didn't understand their senses of humor. I felt so polarized from the group that they considered me expendable (their words not mine). I was removed at some point. I didn't have any friends left to go to. Ever since then I have thought about the person I "used" to be.