3 | Summer | 6/7/22

 My exams were, as I expected, not the issue themselves. The real issue was figuring out where the hell I had to go to get there.

It seemed clear to me, what the staff told me. They gave me a room number and then the media center. I figured, "oh, the room will be easy to find" and "the media center, I don't even know where to start". It turned out to be the exact opposite.
What the staff gave me was a 4-digit long room number (make a mental note of this), which seemed a little strange to me. I had been in the building before, and all the numbers were only 3 digits. I figured the first number, two, was an indication of what floor it was on, and then the remaining three digits were just the room number. Or, in a much less logical situation, the staff just made a bunch of typos. When I got to the school, I had the number memorized. That wasn't the issue at hand.
I started by going upstairs and looking for the room with the last 3 digits I was given, as indeed, each room number only had 3 digits. Eventually, on the other side of the school, I found the classroom with those numbers. The teacher giving exams wasn't there yet, so I leaned by the wall waiting for them to arrive. No other students were there with me yet. I waited for about 10 minutes when finally a teacher came by the classroom and opened the door, saying that she was just opening the door in preparation, and I might only need to wait a few more minutes for the exam teacher to arrive. So, I waited another 15-ish minutes, and finally some other students came by to wait with me. The teacher finally came and let us in. We sat for a bit before we were assigned chairs with our names written on index cards. Just before we got up to search for our names, the teacher says "who's ready for an English exam?" This set off more alarms in my head, since the test I was taking was for math. Again, trying to get mental clarity, I assumed the classroom had multiple test subjects in it, and half and half would get each subject. Finally, I go looking around for my name tag, and I can't find it. I walk up to the teacher to say I can't find my name, and she looks at her list to confirm I'm in the right place. It turns out, the exact words I didn't want to hear, that I was in the wrong classroom. She wished me luck on finding my real classroom, and I rushed off into the hallway, feeling massively embarrassed.
I walked along a bit, trying to find my way back to the lobby, as my next objective was to find the student services room. I ran down the hallways and the flight of stairs, finding the room and asking the receptionist (while all the other teachers were staring at me like I was glowing green) where my class was. She told me my room number, which I already knew, so I pressed on it. She told me that the room was actually a part of a different section of the building, that not only had I not been informed on the existence of and therefore had no idea where it was, but also wasn't included in my instructions for the exam. She told me just to continue down the hall and eventually I would find it. Of course, I assumed she meant the direction I had already been walking down, so I went that way. It's only now that I realize she must've meant the other direction.
I walked down a few hallways, passing by less and less people as I went, when I finally came to a place that looked like a division between two buildings, though linking them together. I walked in, and felt a strange sense of relief mixed with familiarity. "I'm finally in the right place" I thought, "but why does it look like my middle school?" Those second thoughts were justified, as eventually, I realized I was looking at 3-digit numbers again. Frustrated and immensely stressed, I went looking for the last 3 digits again, and found a computer room. The inside was completely empty and dark, besides one teacher. A really nice teacher who taught one of my subjects in middle school, and nominated me for the middle school graduation video (for what exactly I can't recall). He recognized me, despite me having a mask on and looking a few years older, and told me I was in the middle school. Feeling even more embarrassed and almost laughing from it, I asked for help from the teacher. He directed me to the other section of the building, which was across from the middle school. Basically, I had to run up a steep hill in order to get to an entry door. I thanked him, and ran off in pursuit, as not to make it there super late.
Exhausted and desperate for air, I pulled my mask down and pushed at the door's handle. A teacher, who looked oddly like my math teacher, opened the door for me. I followed the crowd and went up the stairs, finally seeing 4 digits in the room numbers. Finally making it down the hall and to the room, I sat at the desk with my nametag feeling all the stress roll out of my body. I felt like I was going to pass out from exhaustion, stress, dehydration, and hunger all combined. Luckily, I was 25 minutes early.
But it wasn't over yet. My math exam looked nothing like what we had studied the week prior. There were some familiar subjects, but otherwise, the math exam had a lot of new things we didn't study for. Some, we may not have even learned about at all. About 90% of the test was guessing and hoping desperately that I would get the answers right. I felt the relief melt out of me over the course.
After an hour, we took a two minute break, then proceeded for another hour. In total, the test took me about 1 1/2 hours, maybe slightly longer. Unfortunately, there was still another hour and a half to go. I sat, drawing on my scrap paper, waiting for the time to pass. When I thought we were finally done, at 10:30am, and I could finally take a water break, I was teased. Because some students hadn't finished within the three hours, we had to wait another full hour before we could leave. I sat there with no phone and no water, desperately bored and feeling sick to my stomach. Finally, after what felt like ages, we were allowed to leave.
Once again, I followed the crowd to the cafeteria, where we were allowed a small lunch break. My next objective was the media center, and I had no idea where to start with that. Lo and behold, I turned my head to the right, and there it was. Unsure of how easy this really was, I got up and hesitantly went to read the sign, and sure enough, it was the media center. I went in, took the 30 minute test, and waited in the cafeteria to be picked up. I was absolutely exhausted and just about ready to leave. I was picked up 30 minutes later and returned home, happy that I was finally done with school for the year.

Admittedly, my only paranoia didn't come from where I would go for the exams. In fact, I had absolutely no paranoia about the exams themselves. My fears usually come from unexpected, random, and possibly dangerous events. A good example of this is a thunderstorm; comes out of nowhere and could easily strike and kill me. Another example is appendicitis, which I have an unusual fear over.
Another, more relevant example, would be school shootings. Ever since I heard an audiobook about Columbine, despite my immense fascination with the story, I became absolutely terrified of going into school in-person. Even though I spent 10+ years in school with no incident, I was still scared. Not only was there a shooting recently in Texas (albeit in an Elementary school), but there was a silent riot going on in my school, where one of my teachers warned me that "new people should stay out" and "I don't want something like Texas to happen". Of course, I took that as, "I'm new, I'm from virtual school. They're going to shoot and kill me, right?" I stayed up until 12am the night before absolutely terrified of going to sleep. I played the situation over and over, thinking of seeing the silhouette of a shooter firing at all the students in the classroom, hitting me fatally and leaving me bleeding on the floor, possibly seconds away from death. In fact, Columbine even gave me a slight fear of going in the media center, and of course, that was one of my testing areas. Eventually I reassured myself that I would be okay, and that I lived this long without getting shot. Sure enough, I survived.

Despite all that, I've been very much relieved to be done with another grade. I haven't got far left to go. Hopefully the remaining time will not be as stressful.
That's my news for recent events. Until next.