6 | Overdramatization | 7/21/22

 I am a glasses wearer. Maybe that surprises you, maybe you already knew and it didn't surprise you. Regardless, that unfortunately means I have to go through an extra appointment every couple of years, known as the opticians.

 Essentially, the opticians are similar to dentists or hair saloons, in that they treat one specific part of your body. In the case of the opticians, it's your eyes. More specifically, they try to allow partially blind people (like me) to see better. I'm nearsighted, meaning I can see things up close nice and clear, but things farther away are completely blurry. Blurry to the point where I couldn't read something 10 feet away from me.
 Although this sounds bad, it's actually very common. My eyes are perfectly healthy, they just bend light in a different way.

In the usual opticians appointment, they'll take quick pictures of your eyes, then test which lenses work to improve your vision, then finally allowing you to pick out a brand new pair of glasses. Though, there are some additional examinations you can get done on your eyes. One being an additional eye examination and then another being dilation.
The eye examination is pretty straight-forward, you just look at a picture and the focus goes in and out. I'm not really sure what they're looking for in those tests, but I assume the eyes react to the change in focus. 
The dilation is a bit more unpleasant. Basically, they put two drops in each eye, which allows the pupils to completely dilate for several hours. That usually means you're extra sensitive to light, so they give disposable sunglasses for you to be able to walk outside without damaging your eyes.

Earlier today, I had an opticians appointment. Along with the normal routine, I had to do the two additional examinations. I had the choice to decline them, but I figured they would just help them in determining my health. Plus, it's not like it would be painful.
Despite that, I was still quite nervous before the appointment. I had very little reason to be nervous, since I was guaranteed to go through absolutely no pain, unlike at the dentists. The unfortunate issue is that, I get anxious over very small things.

I have something basically described as "overdramatization anxiety" (I'm not sure if that's its official name). I believe I've mentioned this previously, but haven't described in full. Basically, I take a small, pretty mundane situation, and inflate it into a huge problem that will cause me great pain and/or death. Almost every single time this happens in my brain, it ends up actually being a lot less intense than I imagined. But this happens with almost every small encounter in my life. Even casual conversation. In brief flashes or even in some drawn-out imaginings, I imagine every possible ending to an encounter.
Take, for instance, I am about to have an opticians appointment. Firstly, my brain will play out the most immediately sensible scenario; I go in there, get my eyes checked, and leave completely unharmed. Then, as I have more time to think about it, I imagine what could possibly go wrong during it. What if my eyes are unhealthy and they need to get me on medication? Or worse, I'm in need of surgery. What if the eyedrops hurt when they go into my eyes, and what if they keep hurting for the rest of the day? What if the possible thunderstorm coming later ends up coming earlier than expected, and I'm trapped in the opticians building until it passes? What if I end up saying something wrong to one of the doctors and end up messing up my information? What if I accidentally offend one of them and end up getting on someone's bad side?
These are genuine thoughts that go through my head, as ridiculous as they may sound to you. And unfortunately, I am very much aware of the ridiculousness behind it. Sometimes anxiety just overpowers me, and I can't go back to the original, most likely scenario. It's only when that situation plays out in reality that I finally can relax myself. The butterflies in my stomach slowly fade away, and I stop tensing up my body. And of course, when all is said and done, I get really excited that I managed to push through the appointment. Though, the stress from all the anxiety earlier wears me out, and I stay tired for most of the remaining day.

That's pretty much what happened in this appointment. I went in a nervous wreck, trying to contain myself. I got my eyes checked, though the only bad thing that really happened was that I kept blinking while they were trying to take pictures. Finally I just held my eyes open and got the pictures taken successfully. I then got my eyes dilated, which felt very unpleasant at the time, but eventually just went back to feeling like normal. That is, excluding the fact that I couldn't look outside without my eyes burning. I picked out a new pair of glasses, which should be ready to pick up in around a week's time.
 All in all, a very easy appointment. Though it took a bit longer due to the short staffing. And also my breath stank the whole time since I didn't have a chance to eat beforehand. Unfortunately, wearing a mask comes with the disadvantage of your morning breath being trapped in with your nose.

Another mostly uneventful week besides that. I lost my writing motivation, so unfortunately I haven't been in too much of a mood to write. Once that mojo comes back, I'll write more about the horrors of being in my shoes.
Until next.